CONVERSATIONS THAT MATTER 2025 / 2026
The Case of 'Father Matt'

The notion of "friendships in religious life" has gone through various changes over the centuries. In times past, religious men were discouraged from developing any close friendships with fellow community members. Religious priests and brothers were asked to regard all their "brothers in Christ" equally. But that model also tended to ignore the normal human need for good, healthy, and trusting relationships in life. To disregard that basic need could result in members becoming isolated and lonely. As psychologists began to recognize that human need for good relationships, religious communities took a different path from past practices and began to encourage their members to develop friendships within community life, but with the caveat of making sure to avoid exclusivity in those friendships. Men were encouraged to find and maintain a healthy balance of "good relationships with all," but also to maintain closer relationships with a few like-minded members with whom we could be more open and engage in honest and trusting conversations.

The case of Father Matt details a religious who has successfully faced many challenges. One of those challenges is the betrayal of a close friend in community life, who was later found to have sexually harassed some of the men in formation. If you have experienced the betrayal of a good friend in a manner such as this, or are currently dealing with this kind of trauma, please do not suffer in silence and seek help immediately from a trusted professional.

This session explores the notion of friendship in religious life, the betrayal of trust that can sometimes occur, and how to work through such disappointment and betrayal in order to find healing, and learn to trust once again.

The presentation in the videos includes a narration of Father Matt's story along with discussion questions and didactics (learnings). While the video portion of Father Matt's story is the same for each presentation, the questions and discussion points have been crafted according to the needs of three key audiences:

Men in formation
Men currently living and/or working in an apostolic commitment
Men living in a community for the retired

Completing "CONVERSATIONS THAT MATTER 2025 / 2026" counts as 1.5 hours toward your certification.

It would be best if you could do this in a group, or with at least one other Salvatorian.

You need to do these things:

Watch one of the videos below (download the guide linked directly above that video to follow along if you wish)
Together - reflect on and answer the questions included in the video
Reflect on the didactics (learnings) both from the video and from your discussion

Then:

Read through and understand the Mandatory Reporting Responsibilities written for our community (linked below)
Download and fill in the form (also linked below) and mail to Hi Mount as directed at the bottom of the form.